Over the years, I've grown to despise gifts. Period. Both giving gifts and receiving gifts. And, I'm not talking about services or cash. I'm talking about physical items as gifts. I know it's an extremely unpopular opinion and I know it makes me seem ungrateful, but the whole concept of gifts doesn't make sense to me.
When I receive gifts, 10/10 times the gift is something I don't want or need and it's usually something so completely outside of my tastes that it stresses me out to have it in the house.
The gift-giver has now given me a project. I now need to figure out what to do with the item and/or go through the annoying process of returning it. On top of this, I know most returned items end up in the landfill. I could go on about how environmentally unfriendly gifts are.
I understand that there are traditions rooted in gift-giving. The older generation who raised me insists that it is their right and their duty to give gifts. But, I don't buy it. Giving gifts out of obligation feels like a chore. Receiving gifts with a fake smile seems disingenuous. Just give me cash if you must give me something.
The downside is when I ask for cash instead, they reply with, "Well, that's not fun." Fun for whom, may I ask? I don't want my relative’s shopping addiction to use me as an excuse to drain her bank account, distract her from her real problems, and further pollute the earth. (Yes, it’s always a “her”.) Tape the $20 bill to a jar of peanut butter if you want to make it "fun".
Perhaps I'm taking it too personally when I receive a personal gift but at times, I feel like the person giving me "gifts" is discreetly trying to tell me something. For example, if you keep buying me socks as gifts, I'm starting to wonder if you think I can't buy my own socks or if you think my socks are ugly. Either way, I don't want the hint.
And when it comes to giving gifts, I'm sure the feelings are mutual. Do you really want me to spend time out of my busy day to buy a gift for you that you don't want or need? If I tell you I don't want any gifts at my birthday party and you bring one anyway, are you now imposing your tradition on mine?
I wish we were more creative in our acts of love for others. It doesn't have to cost anything. It doesn't have to be anything new. Sometimes lending an ear, paying for my lunch, or making a homemade card can mean more than a stuffie from Australia.
Thank you for listening to my Ted talk.
