Adler Planetarium

I’ve been meaning to take Bub to the Adler Planetarium since the summer. Finally this weekend, I made the decision that we were going and by golly, we actually did it.

Super Bowl Sunday made for easy traffic and minimal crowds as we drove to the museum plaza. I love this part of the city and have always thought it set apart Chicago from the other biggies. The Field, the Shedd, and the Adler all within a three-minute walk of each other. And against a beautiful skyline and lakefront views at that.

When we got there, I bribed Bub with a chocolate peanut butter cup to pose for a few photos in front of the planetarium. We all squinted at the bright sun and half-smiled for obligatory family photos taken by a stranger walking her dog. I asked Bub if he’d take a couple more and he refused, eager to eat his candy.

Inside the museum, Bub was mesmerized by a hologram on the wall of the welcome walkway. He stared as parts of a rover were assembled in front of him. We then ate a snack in the cafe (he, his peanut butter cup) before making our way to the Sesame Street film playing in the dome theater. Steve was adamant about getting to the theater early to get our choice of seats haha.

Bub’s first time in a movie theater and it was fantastic to be surrounded by kids his age and parents going through the same motions we were. Halfway through the 25-minute show, you could see most of the kids become restless as parents shuffled them from one lap to the next.

After the short film, we wove our way through most of the exhibits. Bub spent 10 minutes steering a spaceship over Mars. We saw gigantic telescopes from the 15th century. He imagined himself manning mission control as he played with a giant touchscreen. He drove rovers, launched rockets, walked through deep space, and pretended to avert an aeronautical crisis with tubes, buttons, and switches. Barely stopping for hydration and belly fuel, we were finally able to convince him to leave after nearly four hours.

The Adler Planetarium was a huge success. I’m not sure who left more hungry and tired, Steve or Bub :)

Chicago Botanic Gardens

Every outing with Bub that doesn’t involve a panic attack I consider a win. Today was another win for me. We spent the afternoon at the Chicago Botanic Gardens, which were absolutely beautiful. I’m sure they use pesticides and herbicides to maintain the gardens. A year ago, I would have inquired before visiting to confirm if they used harmful chemicals. And if they did, they were blacklisted. Today, I assumed they did and took my child there anyway. Who am I anymore?

Of course, pesticides and herbicides still anger and trigger me. I was still on my guard while walking around the gardens, trying to do my grounding exercises when Bub walked on the grass, holding my breath when he stopped to smell the flowers, panicking any time I saw a little flag in the ground. Walking through the maze of parking lots to get to the main entrance made me nervous, worried a car would drive by that would fill our air with exhaust.

I did my best to remind myself that some exposure is good for him and that I would remove him if I felt like he was in danger. I focused on the beautiful weather and being as present as possible. What I experienced in return was priceless. Bub loved the model railroad so much that we walked through it twice. He did a good job listening to me when I told him not to touch the gardening tools on display but tried to snap off a little pumpkin from the vegetable garden. While he liked smelling the concord grapes ripening over the arbor we walked under, he mostly liked chucking the grapes that had fallen. He was more interested in throwing rocks into the fountains than the gorgeous blooms around us. He is a ball of energy these days and it was glorious to let him run around in the sunshine. It’s a gift to be able to spend one of the last warm days of the year outside. We stayed longer than expected, a full three hours, and nearly avoided the only tragedy of the day: running out of snacks.

I’m learning that it is possible to feel a sense of peace in letting go of over-planning and over-analyzing. Perhaps every now and then, stopping to smell the roses is more important than worrying what might be on them.

Return to Wicker

Steve took Bub to a birthday party today, which gave me an entire Saturday to myself. A luxurious treat for any parent. Wanting to take advantage of gorgeous September weather (when it’s finally pleasant in Chicago), I invited a dear friend to explore Wicker Park with me.

Wicker Park, the place where it all began. Where Steve and I finally committed to becoming adults together. That’s a weird way to put it. What I’m trying to say is that Wicker Park is where Steve and I made some major adult decisions: it’s where we bought out first condo, where we lived when I found out I got my first corporate job, where we lived when we got married, where we lived when we got a puppy together. We spent hours walking the 606 talking about our hopes and dreams. We watched Sunday night football games at the Blue Line, scarfing chicken pot pie and wings. I spent many a lunch perusing the salad bar at Goddess and Grocer. I purchased life-changing secondhand books at Myopic Books. I remember sitting at the window of Stan’s Donuts on a cold winter afternoon, people-watching while dunking my cinnamon roll into a hot cup of coffee. I miss the farmers’ market on Sunday mornings and the chaos of Six Corners.

What I miss most of all is that chapter in my life when I lived there. Young, full of hope, trying to figure out what being an “adult” means.

Four years later, I’m finally back in my old neighborhood. Thirty-three years old. A mom. And while I’m not sure I’m any closer to figuring out adulthood, I’m absolutely sure that no one else is either.

It was wonderful to be back for an afternoon with great company, a seat right away at Big Star, a stroll down the 606 as the sun set. How strange yet familiar to be back in a place I used to live - as if nothing has changed and yet, everything has.

A Day at the Field

We took Bubba to a museum for the first time this morning and had a blast. Leaving the house is usually a stressful, anxiety-inducing experience for me but today, I vowed to focus on having fun.

When we arrived at the Field Museum, Bub was overwhelmed at first. I mean, this kid doesn’t get out much. He didn’t want me to put him down while I was trying to get out my vaccine card. He wasn’t sure what to take in - the people, the dinosaurs, or just how massive this place was. But within a few minutes, he warmed up to the space and went from being on Steve’s shoulders to holding our hands to letting go and running around on his own.

We let him lead the way and marveled at how many animals he named and exhibits he wanted to see. We learned about wildlife that needs protecting (there’s a hypocrisy to telling us this while we look at taxidermied tigers, but I digress). We walked through rows of precious stones. We got up close to dinosaur skeletons.

I’m learning that when Steve and I are in sync, it leads to a much happier experience with Bub. It’s taken us a long time to get to this place. And though we won’t always get it right, it’s nice to know that days like today can and will exist.

Home Sweet Chicago

For a long time I felt like I didn’t belong in Chicago. I didn’t go to a Big Ten school. I didn’t enjoy spending the day drinking beer and watching sports. The Chicago hot dogs, pizza, and Italian beefs made me overweight and bloated. Even when I started to love the city, I didn’t want to admit it. I was in denial that my husband’s favorite city in the universe was also mine.

When I lived in Chicago, I craved forests and mountains and the ocean. I craved diversity and new experiences. For the past two years, our move to California gave me what I asked. From where we lived in Berkeley, I was amazed that we were a 15 minute drive from beautiful hikes in the Redwoods. I loved all the different choices in delicious Asian food. I loved that we could take day trips to the beach and to wine country. For a time, I was happy to escape our old lives in Illinois.

What I didn’t love about living in the Bay Area were the high living costs and long commutes. It took us both over an hour to get to work, and it felt like most of our paychecks were going towards rent. I missed all the space we could afford in Chicago and how convenient it was to move about the city.

But the biggest driver of moving back to Chicago was having a baby. The minute I found out I was pregnant, Chicago tugged at my heartstrings. It’s time to go home and nest.