Mom on a Mission

The smell of sweet grass in the morning. The crunch of grass under bare feet on a hot summer day. To walk and play freely in the grass, to not worry whether you’re stepping on carcinogenic chemicals, that’s how the world should be. That’s the world our children deserve.

But instead, we live in a country where homeowners are obsessed with weed-free, perfectly manicured lawns. So much so that they’re willing to pay companies like TruGreen to spray toxic chemicals and they’re willing to use Roundup to remove dandelions.

Here’s the irony: dandelions are actually quite nutritious and a small bunch of organic dandelion greens costs $2.99 at the store when we could get them for free in our very own yards.

We are killing ourselves purely for aesthetics and it’s infuriating.

The Truth about TruGreen

I didn’t realize how prevalent pesticide use was until I had a baby and I started caring about what he was exposed to. My stomach drops every time I see a pesticide application sign at the park or in someone’s yard. I wonder why people think TruGreen is safe, why they continue to pay for it. I wonder how we got to this place in society that feels so backwards and wrong.

TruGreen says the drying process of their pesticide application takes 1-2 hours but the truth is, studies have shown that these chemicals are traceable several days later and that they run off into our water and drift into our air. Pesticide drift is real.

Here’s the truth about TruGreen:

• 53% of TruGreen’s products include ingredients that are possible carcinogens.

• 41% of TruGreen’s products include ingredients that are banned or restricted in other countries.

• 34% of TruGreen’s products include ingredients that are known or suspected endocrine disruptors.

• 28% of TruGreen products include ingredients that are known or suspected reproductive toxins.

• 100% of TruGreen’s products include ingredients that threaten our environment, including our water supplies.

• 0% of TruGreen’s pesticide application signs provide the exact time the lawn was sprayed, putting any human or animal at risk of touching the lawn before it’s dry. Also, birds and bunnies can’t read so how are they supposed to know the lawn is unsafe? There’s nothing stopping a squirrel from scampering through your neighbor’s TruGreen lawn and then into yours.

In 2020, a lawsuit against TruGreen was brought up to the Superior Court of DC.

TruGreen and Roundup both contain the weed killer, glyphosate. Last month, Bayer (the maker of Roundup) reached a $2 billion settlement to resolve around 125,000 claims that Roundup caused non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

Be the Change

The facts and cases against pesticides/herbicides/insecticides are mounting. A recent study found that even pesticides (e.g. DDT) banned over 20 years ago continue to show up in areas we least expect it, like nature preserves. These forever chemicals will outlive us. The damage has been done but we can stop the bleeding.

On the bright side, municipalities are slowly coming around to banning pesticides on city property - cities like Evanston, IL. Organizations like The Detox Project and Beyond Pesticides are promoting transparency and empowering individuals to create change. Companies like Sunday and Lawnbox are offering safer alternatives.

Here’s how you can help raise awareness:

1. Educate yourself on your city’s pest control and pesticide use. Pesticides can be found everywhere - in cities, suburbs, and rural areas.

2. Write to your state/municipality/HOA/block about safer pesticide use, banning pesticides altogether or at the very least, providing a schedule of when pesticides will be used. Here are letter/flyer/brochure templates you can leverage.

3. Sign the petition to demand that TruGreen switch to a non-toxic formula: www.change.org/bantrugreen.

4. Make “pesticide-free” or “ban TruGreen” signs for your lawn to raise awareness with neighbors and to let them know they can walk safely on your grass.

I often feel like an army of one challenging old ways of doing things. Or, that I’m sounding the alarm but no one wants to be inconvenienced. What keeps me going is knowing that the work I do to create a safer world for my loved ones is the most meaningful work I can do.

“A poison is a poison is a poison.”

Plastic is Poison

NPR published an article this month about plastic baby bottles shedding microplastics when heated. Years ago, I remember seeing a headline that read “We Are Drinking Our Clothes”. Since then, I’ve seen so many depressing articles about microplastics in the fog over our bay, in the air we breathe, in the water we drink. Plastic is all around us and our reliance on it is also our demise. I suppose on the bright side it’s good for the plastic problem to become more mainstream. Sad pun intended.

When Bubba was born, I was really terrified of three things: 1) him breathing in air pollution like truck or car exhaust or fertilizer (we live in a rural town surrounded by corn fields), 2) him coming into contact with the lawn spray that is so pervasive in our neighborhood and that our dog might track in, and 3) him ingesting microplastics or harmful metals like lead.

Let’s be real. I was worried about these things before he was born. But before I got pregnant, I only had myself to worry about. To bring another life into this effed up world, I feel immense responsibility to keep him safe.

Safe from plastic and toxins. This task just seems so…impossible. Unless, I put him in a bubble. Wait, is that an option?

Here is what I know about plastic:

• All plastic erodes and becomes finer pieces of microplastic.

• Plastic doesn’t ever leave earth. All the plastic that has ever been created? It’s all still on this earth somewhere.

• Most of our clothing is made of plastic or some synthetic material like acrylic or polyester. Continuously washing and wearing our clothes creates more microplastic. I’m looking at you, yoga pants.

Here are the problems with plastic:

• Plastic disrupts our delicate endocrine system.

• A handful of big corporations are the biggest producers of plastic and thus plastic waste. Coke, Pepsi, and Nestle are up at the top.

• Plastic pollution is nearly impossible to clean up. Microplastic especially.

To get sick from plastic, it’s difficult for doctors to diagnose plastic as the root cause. Cancers are unique to the individual, a special formula made up of small or large traces of genes, toxins, and other stressors.

Do we fight the plastic fight until something else kills us in the end? Do I fight for my child, knowing that it might give him a chance at a better life?

Yes, I believe I do. I’ll take that chance.

Good Is Enough

I’m the type of person who throws her hands up in the air and gives up if something doesn’t go perfectly. “Why do anything if you don’t strive for perfection,” I used to wonder.

Then, I became a mom and very quickly learned that perfection in motherhood simply doesn’t exist.

When I packed my hospital bag to deliver Bubba, I only packed him a swaddle to wear. How does one put a baby in a car seat when he’s only wrapped in a SWADDLE? Pretty sure I blushed when I realized my naivety and had to ask the nurse if we could keep the hospital onesie he was in. She reassured me that this happens all the time and that the nurses keep a box of new clothes for moments like this. Within minutes she was back with a brand new outfit for Bubba to go home in.

“Don’t worry, I never pre-washed clothes with my kids.” She saw the look of hesitation on my face. I didn’t see why I couldn’t just keep Bubba in the onesie he was wearing or wrap him in the swaddle and walk home. Forget the car seat, I thought. I would rather do either of those things than put him in clothing full of factory chemicals. 

“Thank you so much,” Steve said, kindly accepting the gift from the nurse. I snapped back into reality. That moment was my first lesson in letting go of perfection as a mother. Steve and I fumbled our way through putting clothes on a day-old baby and buckled him into his car seat. I kicked myself for not bringing him a clean outfit from home and debated whether to give him a bath right away. Guilt crept over me.

Since bringing him home, my mind has been churning worries nonstop: is this organic, is this plastic-free, has this been washed, is he too close to the wifi or microwave, is that glitter on his head, what kind of chemicals are in those diapers, did I wash my hands before holding him…I wish I could put this kid in a bubble.

Despite how exhausted I am, I lie awake at night crying and stressing over the mistakes I’ve already made as a mother: using tap water for his formula his first few weeks, placing him too close to our wireless devices when he was tiny, accidentally pouring bath water into his mouth, the list is endless. I make mistakes all day, everyday.

With all the toxins in this world, I’m at my wits’ end worrying about keeping my bairn safe and healthy. With all my worrying, I worry about keeping him happy from my anxieties. Worrying about worrying is worrisome.

“Is it okay to not strive for perfection,” I wonder, “Is good enough?”

“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good,” I hear a voice in my head reply back.

I can still be a good mother even if I’m not perfect. I can still be a good mother if I accidentally make a mistake. I can still be a good mother if I feed my baby formula. I can still be a good mother if I spend time during the day doing something for myself.

As I write this blog post, I can’t remember the last time I showered, there is a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, half the laundry is folded and half of it is still in the dryer, my pump parts need to be washed, which reminds me...I need to pump. I haven’t eaten dinner and I need to hydrate. There are a million things on my to-do list that I haven’t done but for now, I’m going to hydrate, eat, and pump. “Good enough for today,” I tell myself.