Time Thieves

We are all born with a finite budget of time. The fun part is that we don’t know what that budget is. When I was younger, I thought I had all the time in the world. And now, I try to be more thoughtful with it.

When I began embracing myself as an introvert, I became thirstier for meaning. Meaning in my career, meaning in my relationships, meaning in the things I purchase and consume. I simultaneously became less patient with BS and with things done out of obligation instead of joy. I had to dig deep and take inventory of what I felt brought meaning to my life and remove what didn’t. Sometimes the decision was extremely difficult and emotional. Other times, I simply said “Yes” or “No” and felt perfectly fine about it.

We are all time thieves in some way. We take people’s time, whether in small increments or large chunks. We also steal time from ourselves. For me, this usually comes in the form of laziness, depression, or jealousy. My own negativity takes away time I could have spent feeling happy and productive.

In fact, I spent most of my life feeling unworthy, like I was never good enough. I didn’t understand the concept of self-care, of feeling like I was worthy of taking time for myself to relax and have fun. I felt immense guilt when I took days off from work, when I spent money on a massage, when I took a few hours to watch a movie. You name it. Anything that was meant to bring me a sense of fun and relaxation I felt guilty of doing.

It’s been eye-opening to work through those feelings of obligation and guilt with my mental fitness coach. It’s been liberating to set parameters for how I spend my time:

• Does it bring me joy?

• Is it coming from a place of love?

• Has that person earned the right to have my time?

• How much time do I want to cap on this?

Replace “time” with any other word, be it money, work, creativity, happiness, sadness, etc. Evaluating in this way has helped me prioritize the important things in my life and has helped me make more meaningful decisions. Don’t let others or yourself rob you of the time in your life. I hear it flies by in the blink of an eye. ♥♥♥

My Gym Escape

Whether I'm having a tough day or I've eaten two too many cookies, I always found solace at the gym. It's a place I can be alone with my own thoughts, be present with the task at hand, and focus on improving my physical self. I've also found working out to be a great escape when I'm feeling depressed or anxious.

I try to hit the gym at least 3-4 times a week. Even if I only have a half hour or 45 minutes to spare, I still find it's worth it to go. I'll start with 15-20 minutes of cardio (the Stairmaster is my buddy here), then I'll do some light weightlifting. I save the last 5-10 minutes for some planks and stretching.

After a few weeks, I found my routine of cardio + weights a bit boring. I've been mixing in a group class every now and then. Yoga sculpt, HIIT, and spin are a few of my favorites.

Self-care Ideas for an Introvert

The key to self-care is believing you deserve to take care of yourself first and foremost.

• Getting a massage

• Eating wholesome, healthy food

• Exercising

• Doing yoga

• Taking time to decompress

• Taking time to pursue your passions and hobbies

• Saying "no" to someone or something

• Sitting in a coffee shop - people-watching, observing life

• Taking a leisurely walk without a phone

• Going on a bike ride

• Painting

• Writing in a journal

• Going somewhere that's walking distance even if it's more expensive (i.e. a salon, a gym, etc)

The Importance of Self-care

I wonder if the term "self-care" was introduced during my generation. I wonder this because neither my grandparents nor my parents seem to understand the concept. While they certainly take care of their basic needs (eating, sleeping, bathing, etc), they don't necessarily pamper themselves.

It wasn't until recently that I began to understand the importance of true self-care, listening to your body and giving your body the TLC it needs.

Before I read about self-care and noticed great leaders actually taking time for themselves, I felt guilty paying for the occasional visit to the salon, the once-in-a-blue-moon massage, or taking the hour-long walk in the afternoon. To me, any time not spent at the office, studying for exams, or working at my parents' restaurant was time wasted. This mindsight is likely something I internalized while watching my parents work and listening to their lectures about putting in the hours at school and at the office.

A few key readings led me to understand the value of self-care:

"The Busy Trap" by Tim Kreider:

Almost everyone I know is busy. They feel anxious and guilty when they aren’t either working or doing something to promote their work...Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body, and deprived of it we suffer a mental affliction as disfiguring as rickets. The space and quiet that idleness provides is a necessary condition for standing back from life and seeing it whole, for making unexpected connections and waiting for the wild summer lightning strikes of inspiration — it is, paradoxically, necessary to getting any work done.

How to Think Like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett:

As CEO, [Gates] scheduled a week each year at a quiet location where he would be entirely undisturbed so he could just read and think.

Warren Buffett has observed that “I insist on a lot of time being spent, almost every day, to just sit and think. That is very uncommon in American business. I read and think. So I do more reading and thinking, and make less impulse decisions, than most people in business.” He has said that he spends 80% of his time reading. Asked for advice on how to get so smart, he held up a sheaf of papers and said, “Read 500 pages like this every day. That’s how knowledge builds up, like compound interest.”

Jack Dorsey on Time Management:

Dorsey says he starts each morning by meditating, then does a seven-minute workout off his phone, and then makes coffee before opening up the app to check the news.

Then the CEO walks five miles to Twitter headquarters in San Francisco, rain or shine, a walk that he says takes him an hour and 15 minutes. This all happens before 8:30 am.

“I listen to podcasts or audio books, sometimes take phone calls,” Dorsey said. “I’m really happy I make time for myself because it just clears everything away.”

The walk is noteworthy since it’s how Dorsey — a billionaire CEO who runs two companies (the other is Square) — manages his day.

"Ballerina Body" by Misty Copeland:

You're worth it. None of your effort, not a minute of your time, is wasted as you strive toward becoming your best, most vibrant self. But sometimes, as sisters, mothers, partners, friends, we feel guilty taking our attention off of others. You should never feel unworthy of self-nurturing, but in case you do, remember this truth: When we achieve our own dreams, we carry others with us.