Oh Boy, Sheboygan

Ten years ago, someone I worked with mentioned bringing his kids to Sheboygan. A word I had never heard of, and a word I had forgotten about until early this year, when I was trying to figure out where we should go on our first trip with two kids.

Why not Sheboygan, WI? A three-hour drive from where we live in Illinois, a city with lots of kid activities, a county that offers the beach and forest. And boy, it did not disappoint.

We found a rental right on the beach and as soon as we got there, the kids raced straight to the sand. The joy on their faces as they rolled around, picked up shells, and dug holes. Sand in every nook and cranny. The wind whipped our hair and rejuvenated our spirits, now free from the confines of the van. The peace we felt as we listened to the waves crashing into the shore. No one else around us.

I get why families take vacations now. Despite G fussing in her carseat and Bub asking every few minutes when we’d be there. Despite lugging noise machines and remembering to bring diapers. Despite navigating nap times and trying to make a new place toddler-friendly. Being away from home took us out of our comfort zone but forced us to grow closer as a unit. No distractions.

Memories were made from swinging with G in the hammock, playing Green Bay Packers checkers with Bub, and tackling a Minnesota-themed puzzle with Steve and Bub while G napped. I want to remember Steve and G doing yoga together on the living room rug and watching Buddha ride the waves as she retrieved a giant stick. I want to remember that the kids were happiest outside in the sand.

And when we did drag them away from the beach, we had a blast visiting the Mini Mocha Play Cafe, Bookworm Gardens, and the Above & Beyond Children’s Museum. We found everything we needed at Nature’s Best Market. I wanted to leave the trip wishing we could stay longer, and I got what I wanted.

When we got home, before unbuckling his seatbelt, Bub turned to me with a smile and said, “Oh, I thought we were going to go run to the sand.” For a brief moment, he had forgotten that we had left Sheboygan. Feels like a dream now, doesn’t it?

California Calling

When we moved out of California three years ago, we didn’t think we’d be back for a while. And yet, we’ve traveled back twice since then. We just can’t seem to stay away.

This time, we wondered why we left in the first place.

Oakland Hills

We were in a state of flow the entire trip, the most enjoyable one to date with a toddler in tow. It helped that our rental home was high up in the Hills, where we felt like we were floating on clouds. The nicest place we’ve rented, by far.

There were stairs, so many stairs. We counted 50 steps alone to get down to the garden. We embraced them though, our legs now slightly more toned and our cardio slightly improved. The four stories of stairs were well worth the views on views on views.

Sibley Volcanic Regional Preserve

Hiking with a three year-old is interesting. He’s too big for the stroller, which didn’t fare well on the rocky trails anyway. He wanted to stop often to collect and chuck rocks, which didn’t bode well with his father who wanted to hike continuously. And, we underestimated the sun, failing to slather him with sunscreen.

But, we considered it a win getting him out in nature. We breathed in the intoxicating smell of bay leaves, eucalyptus trees, and the super blooms. We said hi to all of the dogs on the trail, missing our own Buddha back in Illinois. Coming from the flatlands, our glutes were grateful for the elevation. When we lived here and hiked Sibley on weekends, we took it for granted. Now, we know how special it is.

While heading back to our trailhead, I went down the slippery slope of asking Bub if he wanted to take a picture of Steve and me. I handed him my phone (on airplane mode) and for the rest of our 10-day trip, he offered to take photos of us - just to feel the phone in his hands. What have I started.

Tilden Little Farm

We came here last year with Bub and it is one of my favorite places for little ones. You can bring your own lettuce and celery to feed the animals. It’s attached to the Tilden Nature Area, giving us the option to hike afterwards. There is something about seeing children gently interact with animals that is such a joy to witness.

Photo by Bub

Mill Valley

Going out for dinner, whether at a restaurant or a friend’s house, became the norm on this trip. I’ve dreamed of having a family that tried all different types of foods and restaurants together. I’m slowly realizing this dream and it took getting over my fear of 1) leaving the house and 2) letting my kid eat something I didn’t cook. Easy for most parents to do. Very hard for me.

In Mill Valley, we went to the Watershed Restaurant, where we ordered the sardines on toast. Crispy sardines on a layer of avocado mash, topped with pickled peppers, on hearty sourdough bread - surprisingly delicious.

After lunch, we looked for a park nearby to take Bub. Steve found Old Mill Park a few minutes away. When we drove up to it, I was in awe. There is a photo on my vision board of a place like this playground. In the photo, a group of children are playing outside at a forest school. Surrounded by tall, strong trees. A place where kids can play freely in nature, in the fresh air. For over an hour, we chucked rocks in the stream, played hide-and-seek between the giant redwoods, and enjoyed a playground so different than the ones we see in Illinois.

Oakland Zoo

We met up with my best friend and his family at the Oakland Zoo, a place with over 11,000 positive Google reviews - the most I’ve ever seen. Before having kids, there was no reason for me to go to any zoo. Wildlife in captivity, overpriced food, children running around like animals. Wouldn’t touch the place with a ten-foot pole. Then I had a kid and was convinced to visit the Oakland Zoo primarily for the gondola ride everyone raves about.

When Bub was a baby, I used to tell Steve that we’d always put Bub’s needs first. We agreed we’d leave any place if Bub ever needed to feed, nap, or go to bed. A nice excuse to have when we wanted to leave a place early. But on this day at the zoo, nobody wanted to leave. Four hours flew by before Steve and I debated whether to stay or go (as Bub tiredly spaced out in the bat exhibit). Excited by all the activities and things to see (the gondola did not disappoint). Full from the cafeteria pizza and hamburger he had for lunch. Exhausted from running in the sun. Thirsty from finishing his milk and only having tap water to drink (I know, I spoil him). We asked ourselves, “Do we let him fall asleep in the wagon? Do we go home now to nap? Do we risk staying a little longer and skip a nap completely?”

I didn’t know what to do. I should put Bub’s needs first. We should have left an hour ago so he could nap in a bed. But, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay and hang out with my friends. Friends I only get to see once a year. I made the not-so-great parenting decision of staying another half an hour and feeding Bub chocolate Dippin’ Dots. We left shortly after and didn’t even get to check out the amusement rides. Pretty sure I was the one who was pouting when we left.

NAPA

Google “kid-friendly wineries in Napa” and Frog’s Leap Winery will appear in the results. Let me tell you that the only “kid-friendly” thing about Frog’s Leap Winery is the garden, albeit a very large and organic garden. I was hoping to order a charcuterie board while Steve sipped some wine, but the winery only offered tastings (which I’m sure is common in Napa given wineries would need to go through the hassle of obtaining food and alcohol licenses). Nevertheless, we had a lovely time running through the flowers, clucking at the chickens, petting the property dog, and pointing out the frogs in the pond.

Steve looked up a couple places nearby we could have lunch at and I chose The Charter Oak Restaurant in Helena solely based on the picture of soft-serve I saw. “I want that,” I told Steve decidedly. “Alrighty,” Steve chuckled as he drove us to the nicest restaurant we’ve ever taken a toddler. Throughout our expensive meal, we caught Bub chucking the housemade playdough the hostess gave us, told Bub repeatedly to put his shoes back on, and tried to convince him to eat a couple of vegetables while he impatiently waited for his ice cream. My only regret is that we didn’t order two soft-serve ice creams.

Friends, food, & fog

Memorial Day weekend was dedicated to seeing our friends and family as much as we could. Difficult with a toddler who finds adult conversations boring. One of us was always entertaining him so that the other could catch up with friends.

Steve and I started to pretend that this was our day-to-day life. We got used to the fog greeting us in the mornings and in the evenings. We remembered to always carry sunscreen with us for when the sun would inevitably appear midday. We thought about which neighborhoods we’d want to live in as we drove through them and which schools we’d want Bub to attend. Even though we’ve made the decision to settle in Illinois, we still wrestle with the dream of coming back west for good. As Steve reassured everyone throughout the week, “It’s not a matter of if. It’s a matter of when.”

The fog in the morning

The view midday

The sunset on a clear night

Goodbye super cool house

Thanks for the photo ops, Bub

Thanks for the largest organic strawberries, Berkeley Bowl

Thanks for the good food and fast service, United Dumplings

Thanks for letting us chat at friends’ houses, Bub, while you sat quietly and ate watermelon

Thank you, Ajanta, for the meal Steve and I look forward to every time we visit

Thanks for letting us borrow the Batmobile, Batman

NYC Getaway

This trip was a chance for me to quite literally get away from the mundanity and complacency of my life at home. After two back-to-back weeks of Steve traveling and me watching Bub on my own, I needed a break to rejuvenate my soul.

Deep down, I fear a banal existence. I crave creativity, progress, and originality. I seek diversity and difference. Things I miss when I’m living the motherhood routine day in and day out in the ‘burbs. I struggle to incorporate these values into mine and Bub’s life, especially when I’m serving up the same meals and activities everyday.

I knew NYC was the right place for me to get away. I’ve written about my love for NYC before. There’s something about this city that revitalizes me. The array of cuisines, the unique boutiques, the insane museums, the ease of getting to it all by subway. I’ve always found New Yorkers so kind and welcoming. Somehow, I feel at home.

A bit ironic when my very goal is to get away from the word.

This trip, I ate where my heart desired. Fluffy blueberry pancakes with melted maple butter at Clinton St. Baking Company. Hot dog with onions, sauerkraut, and mustard from The Hot Dog King. Sushi at Sugarfish. I pampered myself with a prenatal massage and facial and felt like a queen. I perused secondhand stores with all the time in the world.

I made a point to visit the Crossings exhibit at the Met, where Robert Colescott’s and Kara Walker’s versions of Washington Crossing the Delaware made me excited about art again. I found inspiration in the early 20th century American paintings of our natural landscapes. A reminder of the abuse we’ve inflicted on our environment, wildlife, and indigenous communities in just a short century. I imagined how different the world would be had colonizers learned from them instead of conquering them. Before I left the museum, I stopped and stared at John Brown storming into the frame with abolitionism. For the first time that I can remember, I went to the art museum and breezed by the European exhibits and instead, spent more time in the American ones. For someone who once wanted to major in art history and move to Europe, this was a significant moment for me - symbolic of my recent resolutions in life.

I used to dream about being a mom in the city. Glamorously pushing my baby in a stroller while crossing Fifth Ave - my long hair waving in the wind. Walking through Central Park with my toddler, stopping at the zoo. Discussing fine art with my 10-year old as we ponder a Van Gogh at the Guggenheim. Skipping to a date night dinner with Steve at Gramercy Tavern. Riding the subway on weekends with the whole family.

Then, I had a kid and intense postpartum anxiety. Triggered by cigarette smoke and carbon exhaust, terrified of construction sites and congested places, my dreams of having a family in the city were dashed.

But this trip, I saw tons of children, seemingly everywhere. I saw parents pushing strollers with multiple kids - in narrow restaurants on Lexington, on the subway, in the chaos of SoHo, through the crowds at Chelsea Market, and at 8:30 pm at the Met. I saw parents walk down the street with their kids without batting an eye at the smoker or noticing at all the truck that sped by. These parents appeared to stroll with ease. These parents are my heroes. And guess what, I tell myself, their kids are thriving.

Someday, maybe someday, I’ll bring my kids to New York City. But for now, I’m going to keep it to myself and enjoy it as much as I can.

Carmel-by-the-Sea

Oh, Carmel. How do I love thee.

Let me count the ways…

I love the ocean views.

I love that the entire village is walkable.

I love that the cottages have names instead of numbers.

I love how dog-friendly it is.

I love that it’s only a two-hour drive from the city.

If I had $3 million lying around, I would buy a home here in a heartbeat. Carmel is the epitome of “cute” and “quaint”. I think I say “how cute” at least a hundred times when I’m visiting.

Dare I say it, I love Carmel more than Napa. The wine culture can be found here as well. There are wine bars, extensive wine lists, and specialty wine shops every few feet. But, I get the ocean when I come to Carmel and that has made all the difference.

Where to stay

Carmel is a touristy town and there are adorable inns throughout. There aren’t many Airbnb options (I’m assuming so as not to take business away from the long-standing inns here). Most inns offer breakfast and are dog-friendly. Carmel is the #1 dog friendly town in the US after all.

Where to Eat

Cottage for breakfast

Carmel Bakery for a sandwich (built in 1899, they’re the oldest running retail business in town)

Stationæry for a salad (their homemade chai is good too)

Patisserie Boissiere for a sweet treat

Mission Ranch for an awesome view

There are plenty of delicious places to eat, not only in Carmel but in nearby Monterey and Seaside. I haven’t had a bad meal in the area yet!

what to see

Carmel Beach is one of my favorite places because it’s huge and filled with happy, frolicky dogs. It’s truly a dog’s paradise. We love going straight to the beach when we arrive, tiring our pup out first, and then walking around town.

17 Mile Drive and Pebble Beach are cool to see at least once. We paid an entry fee at one of the gates ($10 cash) but there’s probably a way to get onto the drive for free. We just haven’t found it yet. The drive takes you along the coast, which is scenic for sure, and there are plenty of lookout points to stop at. You also get to see the famous Pebble Beach and the Equestrian Center.

The Carmel Mission Basilica Museum is beautiful to see and walking distance from Mission Ranch. It has a $10 entrance fee.

Ocean Avenue is the what I’d consider Main Street in Carmel. It’s filled with little shops and restaurants. It’s where you’ll find Carmel Bakery. Once you’ve seen Ocean Avenue, you can explore the side streets, like Lincoln and Dolores, and the charming courtyards and secret passageways sprinkled all over downtown.